My current book project.

My book is for parents who survived childhood abuse and now carry a quiet, persistent ache — the fear that they are too damaged to love their child well.

Told to “just love yourself” or “just forgive,” they are shaped by shame and self-doubt, convinced they have failed at self-love, and wonder how they could possibly offer love that feels safe, steady, and real.

But what they don’t realize is that self-love isn’t the problem, nor is it their inability to love.

It’s the definition of Love they inherited — one rooted in performance, compliance, and conditional acceptance. These are the same ideas that self-love culture repackages and sells back as healing: Just love yourself, it insists, wrapped in therapeutic language and spiritual bypassing.

Self-love isn’t the problem. It never was. It simply doesn’t come first.

This book challenges self-love culture and the patterns it can reinforce — performance, proving, and codependency — and invites you to interrogate the beliefs you hold about Love, disentangle Love from performance, and understand self-regard as the foundation for Love to grow.

By the end, you will understand that your capacity to love is intact, and that self-regard — not self-love — is the foundation for restoring your trust in it.