The Art of Self-Regard
Because for mother wound survivors self-love doesn’t come first.
About The Book
I am writing this book for mothers and fathers who survived childhood abuse and carry a quiet, persistent ache that they might not have the capacity to love their children well. They have been told to “just love yourself” or “just forgive.” Many have tried. Still, self-doubt hangs over them, leaving them unsure how to offer love that feels safe, steady, and real.
What stands in the way is not their capacity to love, but the definition of Love they inherited — one rooted in performance, compliance, and conditional acceptance. When love has been entangled with earning and appeasing, even self-love becomes another standard to meet, another way to fail.
The Art of Self-Regard begins elsewhere. It invites readers to examine the beliefs they hold about Love and to disentangle it from performance. It proposes self-regard not as a slogan, but as a steady internal stance — the ground from which love can grow without being earned first.
Danielle Jernigan is a writer, forever doula, and book proposal coach whose work explores Love, self-regard, and the ways self-love culture can keep us circling healing without reaching restoration. Her writing has appeared in Jess Grose The New York Times Parenting Newsletter, MadameNoire, YourTango, and Nourishing Word. She is the host of the forthcoming podcast Birthing Author-ity and the founder of BirthWork Press. She lives in the Midwest with her youngest child.