Mainstream self-help tells us restoration is just a mindset shift or a self-care routine. But if you grew up in a loveless environment, love is not that simple.
You may question love itself—and even the “self” you're being told to love.

When you became a parent, you were surprised to find the ache didn’t disappear—it grew stronger. You want to be fully present with your child, but your body goes elsewhere: into overthinking, shutdown, survival, disconnecting. You’re afraid. Afraid your child will have to try and earn love, the way you felt you did when you were a child.

But the truth is your capacity to love your children well is not limited by what happened to you. Chasing self-love filled a void and a need. This is not a bad thing. In fact, it was a necessary part of the journey.

Sometimes, the pursuit of self-love deepens the very ache we’re trying to soothe. It may offer intellectual understanding and temporary relief, but often bypasses the deeper, embodied pain. When self-love becomes something to achieve or perform—rather than something to embody—it can quietly become our greatest enemy on the path to restorative repair.

And now there’s a deeper call—and a different path. One that’s harder, but also more rewarding. One that asks you to question what you believe about Love itself.

This path is rooted in yogic wisdom, which teaches that we are layered beings—body, breath, mind, heart, and spirit— and honoring this begins with embodied presence: a mindful awareness that tends to all these layers.

When we honor the ache, befriend it, and let it guide us—especially while parenting— we loosen fear’s grip. We begin to transform our relationship to love to something that is a liberatory force—and this transforms everything.